I'm Living the Americone Dream

After reading Jay's post about how he's been hunting down the new Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor "Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream" I myself embarked on the same quest to locate it. Over a two or three month period I checked numerous supermarkets but to no avail. Finally, a couple weeks ago I found it at the 7-Eleven near the corner of Warner and Euclid in Fountain Valley. I wasn't able to buy any then but yesterday I went back and got a pint carton of it. I guess the fact that it can only be found at 7-Eleven is obviously to emphasize that 7-Eleven is the American Dream: convenience on every street corner. Pictures provided as proof of my procurement (notice my "business" card): The wording on the back of the carton says: "Nation! Have a cold, bold, caramel-swirled, fudgecoveredwaffle-cone-loaded spoonful of Truth: This is Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream! Sweeter than the Bill of Rights, colder than Valley Forge & with twice as much caramel as the Louisiana Purchase. This is the only ice cream with an official thumbs-up from America's greatest news corres-pundit. Please enjoy... or go On Notice!" After that there's a bunch of text about how Ben & Jerry's opposes recombinant bovine growth hormone. My own personal "Americone Dream" is that one day we will all oppose recombinant bovine growth hormone. Ben & Jerry can't oppose it all on their own. Believe me, I'm all for opposing recombinant bovine growth hormone (whatever the heck it is), I'm just glad the Thrifty ice cream cones I got when I was a kid didn't have messages about it. In a county where Mexican food is omnipresent yet the Americone Dream is hard to find and when we are approaching Memorial Day weekend let us all remember the fallen heroes of our country by hotfooting it over to that 7-Eleven in Fountain Valley and buying ourselves a pint of Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream. Make sure to share it with your amigos and your familia. And if your perro's nice then give him some too. And maybe when Labor Day comes around I'll actually have a job . . . and some new ice cream to write about. I still await the day when Stephen Colbert invites me on to his fake news show. Actually, I'd much rather go on his cousin Esteban's show: ¡Colberto Reporto Gigante! (Image hosting courtesy of Image Shack.)